So….we are talking about the invisibility factor of turning 53 in the American Female. Anything from not being consulted on a project to not being flirted with at the coffeeshop. We’ve been examining how this happens, how we as females contribute to the phenomenon and how we can take back our radiance.
Think back to getting ready for your first job, whether that was in high school or after your kids went to school. What was involved? A full face of makeup? A hairdryer and curling appliances? 14 outfit changes? Nails done? Shoes just right, not too high, not too flat and comfort be damned?
Ok. Now what happens when you head out to work? MAYBE a swipe of mascara and a dash of lipstick. Hair in a ponytail. Whatever clothes were clean. Nails that haven’t seen polish since prom. Shoes, only the most comfy.
If you are like many women of a certain age, you probably saved some time by coming right from the gym, no makeup, hair in a messy bun and not so cute gym clothes; functional and time saving, but not going to get a chat up in line…..heck I bet you even thought as you ran in, “Lord, don’t let me see anyone I know.”
What about the young woman in the next line? First and foremost she thought, “you never know who I might meet.” And while she did go to the gym, she went back home to shower, makeup, hair and accessorize. And while in line she was smiling and looking to see who was around.
I do not care if you are married. If you want to be noticed, even by your spouse, you have to smile.
While I know appearances shouldn’t matter…..the cold hard truth is that they do. Study after study confirms that everything from the hottest mates to the best offices go to the one with the best appearance. It’s subconscious. But IT IS. I’m not saying this to be mean or try too hard or to be high maintenance or even to compete with one another. The facts are the facts.
In order to reclaim your radiance, your luminosity, your light, your glow…..you have got to make a little effort. And the benefit to being a little older than the 20 something? You probably have a bigger budget to nudge that glow on, the question is, are you willing? Is it time consuming, yep, but no more so than for her, she made a choice too.
So what have you forgotten?
When was the last time you got a manicure and pedicure? There are shops everywhere and it might cost you $50…..MAYBE! It will take about 90 minutes of your time and you can play on your phone while they do your toes or you can bring a girlfriend and do lunch beforehand.
And the last time you went to the salon? Not the $8.95 place you sent your high school son to, a salon. And if you have been going to a salon, when was the last time you changed or updated your ‘do? My stylist once told me that you can tell the last time a woman felt great based on her hairstyle….if she’s sporting the 80s Aqua Net bangs, it’s not a good sign. So make an appointment and ask the stylists opinion, get a new cut or color or style….it’s fun! And it is just hair, it grows back.
How about some rest and relaxation. Have you had a massage lately? Ever? You will be amazed at the new attitude you sport once the kinks have been worked out and you spent an hour pampering yourself….and let’s remember, they won’t see the value in pampering you, until you do. Want more massages, give one to yourself.
Now let’s talk clothes. When was the last time you bought an outfit somewhere other than Target? When was the last time you tried out a new boutique? Or went shopping with a friend whose style you admire? Don’t want to ask, did you know there are personal shoppers out there? Some work for a particular store, others shop the city based on your needs. They can be hired to come to your house and help you evaluate what fits, what doesn’t, what is still in fashion and what has been hanging out for a decade too long. Yep, let’s go back to the 20 something….back before responsibilities, bills, mortgages and babies puking on all the good clothes….you aren’t her anymore. You may have bills but the babies aren’t ruining 3 outfits before you leave for work, and your income can probably support a new outfit or two. And before you say otherwise…..get your butt to the store and check!
Finally, don’t like the size you ended up buying in that wardrobe makeover? Tried dieting like a 20 year old and it didn’t work? I feel a little like a broken record here, but you aren’t 20. Your hormones, the good, the bad and the finally; have changed how your metabolism works or doesn’t. It just may be time to consult a personal trainer who is educated in hormones and how they affect weight loss….big tip here, if they say you just have to put MORE time in at the gym or calories in need to be less than calories out…..keep looking. Will you have to make some changes, you bet but they probably aren’t the ones you are expecting. Is it worth your time for a consultation, yes….you just don’t know what you don’t know.
So…..which of these tips will YOU start with?
PS. Watch my website for the complete guide to Reclaiming Radiance due out by 11/27….it will include a holiday shoppers guide for the family of the newly radiant YOU!