Ok, up front and in full disclosure….I am in sales….so I regularly ask, “who do you know?” Referrals are the way of business.
So I am chatting about how I am growing my business and ask this wonderful woman who she knows. I get a blank stare. I continue that I am really wanting to expand my class sizes and maybe she knows someone who has talked about getting fit…..from church? Work? Book club? Neighbor?
She finally says that our class group at the gym is her group.
I want to cry….first for happiness, this is what I have worked for, building a strong community at the gym that even if I am not a strong enough pull in the Minnesota January you will still come because your friends are there! Yeah! But then I want to cry for sadness because we are the only group in her world?
And this brings me back to the invisible woman. The one over 53 who fades into the background as her nest becomes empty. Not yet a grandma but kids too old to require daily or even weekly input. She was so busy when her kids were involved she forgot to notice that she wasn’t involved in anything SHE was interested in. Hey I was there, I was the cheerleader mom hustling from practice to football and then hockey at season changed. Late night glitter runs and before game legging malfunctions combined with locker decoration days.
But that’s over…move on, don’t get stuck.
So what DO you do? How do you know what to do? Start by reviewing old calendars….who cares if they are 20 years old, what did you used to do before you had kids?
Those are great places to start.
Or try asking coworkers what they do on the weekends, or the gal on the treadmill next to you, or community ed has some amazing ideas, or a travel agent for a tour.
Go to the library and just look at book titles, go to aisles you don’t regularly head down, or heck, go to a different library! While you are there ask the librarian if they know of any book clubs. On the subject of books, ask everyone what they are reading, start a list of interesting titles, and suggest one to them, you never know if that’s a new best friend.
Community Ed can be an awesome way to inexpensively try new hobbies from painting to swimming and everything in between. And while you are there speak up! Say hi to the person next to you, the very least you have in common is that you are both in the room!
Go to a new restaurant! Strike up a conversation with the server or ask the bartender to recommend a new drink. Do they have a weekly bingo night or dart league you can get involved in….it’s only a few weeks if you end up hating it, but you may just love it!
Got the urge to travel before you are too old to hike up the stairs in Rome? Or hike into the Grand Canyon? Talk to a travel agent about bus tours if you are staying close. And while on the tour make it your goal to learn everyone’s name! And something interesting about them….might be your new travel buddy when your hubby is off on another work trip.
The point of all this? To stay engaged in life. Stay interested in what is going on around you. And hey! Interested people are interesting. Ponder that. When you ask someone what their fun for the weekend was and they say “nothing” or rattle off their tv schedule how interested are you in continuing that conversation? But they tell you about the road trip to the hot air balloon ride they took with their birthday club and suddenly you have some exciting stuff…..road trip? hot air balloon? Birthday club?
Or think back to when the kids were around and you were asked your fun and you bragged on your kids, on your team and what else you could squeeze in. Now that’s done , you have time…don’t use it to become uninterested and uninteresting to the point that coworkers don’t ask about your fun anymore because they know you didn’t have any.
POOF! You are now the invisible woman in the room.
Looking for a cool fitness class in Blaine? intenSati happens every Thursday night at 615pm, call or email me for a free pass to check it out!
intenSati….changing how people move their body,
exercise their mind and
ignite their soul