Dear Denise,
I just turned 48 and feel like my life is over.
My kids don’t need me, I’m just going through the motions of getting up, going to work, come home, make supper, tv, bed…
No grandkids in sight.
Retirement is forever away.
And TBH, this spare tire around my middle is weighing me down (pun intended)
-Ancient in Akron
Dear Ancient-
I am so sad. And (ask my kids) not one for allowing pity parties to continue too long.
Cry it out. Scream it out. Journal it out if you want.
Now what?
What’s next. The average life expectancy of an American woman is 94, you probably have almost 1/2 a life to go. Do you really want to spend it hating?
I heard that life expectancy last year as I was turning 47, exactly 1/2 way. And here I am staring down another birthday excitedly counting my blessings and looking forward to another trip around the sun.
Don’t mistake this though for no sadness or doubt filled thoughts. This week I shared in my Facebook group how I joined a group of women entrepreneurs and that by far I am the oldest one in the room–at 47! This really put me in a place of, “I’m too old. WTF am I thinking? This ship has sailed. I wish I’d have started when I was 28…”
And then during a discussion with the 28 year old (the youngest in the room) she admitted to feeling to young, who was she with no life experience (she just got her PhD)–our stories were mirrors. You’ll never be ready and there’s no better time to change things than now!
So with no further lamenting and for my 48th birthday this week—
48 Blessings, Thoughts and Things….
- Two grown, employed, smart, on-their-own daughters who still call me
- A husband who knows me better than I do (somedays) and takes care of me like the queen I am
- Dogs that fill me with laughter, and are really the reason I’m up at night
- A group of amazing business women to help me see my blind spots #jillfitcoachingcollective
- A fantastic, no bs coach to ask me “the” questions @jillfit
- A day boss that listens to input and cares about her employees and customers in a 5 star way @brendajewell
- Co-workers who know their shiz and have fun while being professional at work @cheriekustermann @christianwalterwaagner @chadrohr
- generally healthy parents who lead by example, so busy in their retirements we have to schedule phone calls
- My convertible Camaro
- Our blow up summer pool
- Three big vacations planned this year, including a trip to Paris! I’ve never been to Europe!!
- Women who genuinely want to improve their menopause years through lifestyle and food who do what I say!
- Best 1:1 clients ever
- My silver clients through the past 14 years giving me awesome advice (travel young)
- Cheap airfare and Google flights
- My ability to learn new tech
- With just a bit of help from those grown girls and biz buds
- That I still have 40+ years to make a difference
- Cry when you gotta cry then get your butt moving
- Get outside, wiggle your toes in the grass-or sand
- Nature heals a lot
- Gratitude will get you further than bitching
- Quit Multitasking, you’ll get more done
- Sing at the top of your lungs
- Celebrate your wins
- Visit with a person 20+years your senior–no rushing
- Eat your veggies
- Drink your water
- Take a walk
- Lift heavy things, you want to be one of those silver people that inspires, right? (Iris Apfel, 102 year old marathoner, Kate Heim)
- Let people help you
- Take a nap
- Smile at strangers
- Genuine compliments are to be given freely
- As are thanks
- Make friend with people 21 years younger than you to stay young
- Dress to make you happy, not your age
- Read non-fiction books too
- Take a different way to work 1 day a week
- Visit local tourist spots like you are from out of town, hire a tour guide
- Volunteer at the library, senior center or hospital
- Be more excited about your own life than a tv character’s life
- Sex helps a lot of things, you’re never too old
- Go to the doctor early and call 911, don’t drive yourself
- Young people are very smart (if you’ll just be quiet and listen)
- Listen to a different podcast to get new ideas
- Energy work and massages are magical, set aside your doubt for a couple hours
- Take care of you first
Ancient, feeling any better now?
xo,
Denise
Need a little more hand holding than butt kicking? Watch for my new program coming out next week
