A list for you today…things that maybe you knew, because you have a grandma and you’ve seen how hot she was on her wedding day and that she looks different now, but also those little things that sneak up on you until one day you’re standing in the hardware store with your dad and he hands you his cheaters…
- Chin hairs, keep a tweezers in your car, it’s the only place you have enough light to see them.
- Your hair gets thinner…and your hairline changes.
- Turkey neck…you’ll want to be way more careful with those camera angles.
- Your jaw line changes…is it jowls or do your bones just shift?
- Your gray hair is different than it used to be…could be curly, straight…
- Bat wings and chicken legs…it’s because of loss of Progesterone, and you can’t fill that skin back up.
- Beer belly…male pattern fatness…seriously, #SupportYourCycle to keep this BS at bay.
- You suddenly can’t read menu’s in dimly lit restaurants…or fine print on anything…this is why we all start ordering chicken.
- Your period stutters to a stop, it doesn’t just slam on the brakes.
- Vertigo can be a hormonal thing.
- Anxiety and depression CAN be too.
- You’ll gain 20+ pounds seemingly overnight.
- Sex still happens (Yeah!!) Also, don’t look in your mom’s nightstand drawer.
- You nap because you don’t sleep, not the other way around. Insomnia is awful.
- Your boobs lose volume and change shape. Go get fitted for a new bra so your knees don’t get bruised. (It’s life altering)
- Eyelids become hooded, wait long enough and an eye lift becomes medically necessary.
- Your nose keeps growing.
- Vaginal dryness due to loss of estrogen, the lube is right by the condoms near the tampons.
- Brain Fog, Memory loss…it’s real, quit multitasking and pay attention so you don’t microwave your keys.
- You don’t physiologically tolerate heat well, you’ll be the first in the pool in May in Minnesota.
- You will get shorter.
- Pay attention to your posture…if you’re lucky your daughter will stick her finger in your back like you did to her when she was 12.
- Digestion slows, just drink your prune juice with Metamucil.
- You lose sense of thirst, it’s worth tracking this one. Drink more to keep skin firm, memory sharp and BMs moving.
- You lose fast twitch muscles thus slowing your reflexes, in all seriousness, pay attention to your driving.
